And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.