Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.