So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up