About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
