once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
