HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
