Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
