shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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