So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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