I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
