What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
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so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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