my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
