its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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