Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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