"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
