You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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