my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I am available for nakedness
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
