i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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