ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize