I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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