Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
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Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
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He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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