Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
