I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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