i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
