i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
