no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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