Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
