I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
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im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
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I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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