is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
