It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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