the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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