This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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