New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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