I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
