Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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