Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
