I got chris browned last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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