He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
