when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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