Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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