she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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