Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
