Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
