please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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