Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
