Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
