at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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