found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
