Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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