Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
