Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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