if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
