I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize