is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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