I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize