Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
