all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
