just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize