Your tits are I can't wait for
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
